tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79608015799922370972024-03-14T02:53:37.438+07:00Walking HumblyMusings and Observations as I clumsily follow the call of God on my life in Vietnam and beyond...rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-74133721216209079972010-11-03T10:57:00.001+07:002010-11-03T10:58:18.427+07:00Belated October NewsletterHi all,<br />Just letting you know that I've finished the October newsletter. Let me know if you want to be added to the update email list.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-64369906429528229002010-10-25T19:42:00.001+07:002010-10-25T19:45:29.914+07:00Call to RemembranceFor all my whining and complaining (which I know are not Christian virtues, but I’m human) I recognize that it is a privilege and an honor to be here in Vietnam at this moment in time. Yes, it is undeniably true that there are numerous challenges and frustrations, on both a large and small scale. Physically, it’s uncomfortable most of the time, I get tired of eating rice or wading through shin deep water to get to my door when it’s raining, and try as I might, I still know only the basics of the language. But, there are moments that all those petty frustrations fade into the background and I’m suddenly hit with the grace that abounds in this reality. <br /><br />Earlier this week, Richard Farrant’s “Call to Remembrance” served as a very much needed (figurative) slap upside the head. Even at Hesston, this song had a special pull on me. I remember clearly turning off the lights in the choir room one day, standing there with my eyes closed as I let this chorale arrangement of Psalm 25 bring things into much needed perspective. As our voices rose in harmonies that still make my breath catch in my chest, these words echo still: “Call to remembrance, O Lord, Thy tender mercies and Thy loving kindness, which hath been ever of old, O remember not the sins and offences of my youth: but according to Thy mercy think Thou on me, O Lord, for Thy goodness.” Too often, it’s so easy to get bogged down by the day-to-day realities that I face. In my humanity, I tend to dwell on the negative. I forget to remember that living and working in Vietnam is a gift and evidence of God’s loving-kindness. Being surrounded by the physical beauty of this place, looking up at the moon on an evening bike ride through the city, spending time in the presence of talented and gracious people who are trying to make the best of a limited and limiting context are all wonderful examples of just how present God is in this place. <br /><br />I know there will come times, both in the near and far future, when I again forget these gifts of grace and glimpses of God. But right now, I feel the call to remembrance and am grateful.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-2410903163023607312010-10-09T20:17:00.005+07:002010-10-09T20:33:15.585+07:00Trading Life in the Emerald City for a Weekend in Sepia-toned Kansas<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGxaTQMVmGPJdofhN63erHJZ8heBNJ36pMfETKLM1SpCZaQC5ncHBsd6Zvdbo2qg6ii9R9U9bo00UcIbeCVNZNj497_RmYsq0MiC1QY6dI2uLzBF3cJXpXdS3wtFYgkO68-Ux0gvWfmKs/s1600/oz.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 259px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGxaTQMVmGPJdofhN63erHJZ8heBNJ36pMfETKLM1SpCZaQC5ncHBsd6Zvdbo2qg6ii9R9U9bo00UcIbeCVNZNj497_RmYsq0MiC1QY6dI2uLzBF3cJXpXdS3wtFYgkO68-Ux0gvWfmKs/s320/oz.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5526038207209660306" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJX2o-EkRKquREG3Ui27YZ-0BA9y1SZr6HrKpd12AuOPlkLYHvTqo9_f_TGOO9AIkDXg6S7NetSecxKF0IgVeNPet4-OXkimYzqAqWs_hffPkt0jwYGyTlyJeYK-oGHyd039GVeHsFu0U/s1600/sepia.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 196px; height: 147px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJX2o-EkRKquREG3Ui27YZ-0BA9y1SZr6HrKpd12AuOPlkLYHvTqo9_f_TGOO9AIkDXg6S7NetSecxKF0IgVeNPet4-OXkimYzqAqWs_hffPkt0jwYGyTlyJeYK-oGHyd039GVeHsFu0U/s320/sepia.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5526038203010462882" /></a><br />No, dear reader, I am not in Kansas. Rather, this weekend is my second return journey to Long Xuyen in the month that I’ve been back in Vietnam. And in more than one way, I feel very much like Dorothy who, upon waking, can say nothing more than “There’s no place like home…” <br />Last year, in dusty Long Xuyen one of the sources of joy and sustenance for some of us foreign volunteers was our occasional trips to Can Tho for grocery shopping and takeout pizza. In a town where the Western food option (as in singular) was the Jolibee at Co-Op mart and we couldn’t even find cheddar cheese, Can Tho loomed like the spires of the Emerald City. Cheese, microwave popcorn, peanut butter filled the aisles of our favorite supermarket and we always left having spent several hundred thousand VND. Next on our routine tour of the city was lunch at Cappuccino’s. This highly popular restaurant is frequented by Can Tho’s large tourist population and boasts an extensive menu of Western delights. After several weeks of nothing but rice, rice and more rice, there are no words to describe the joys of ooey-gooey melted cheese! The only downside to the restaurant is its ONE oven and the ensuing wait to get one’s pizza. There is a way around this hurdle, however, and it’s one that worked well for us: We did not order pizza for our meal. Instead, we’d choose something else from the menu like lasagna, burgers, or fish and chips. Then, as we would leave, we would place to-go orders for the pizza that we’d pick up after we’d finished our shopping. Brilliant, and it made for good eats for the next few days. <br />Our visits were never long, and I’ll admit, returning to Long Xuyen was occasionally a challenge after those few brief hours in Technicolor. When weighing my options for my second year in Vietnam, I said at one point, “Well… if nothing else is different, at least I’ll be able to get pizza.” While my consideration of making the move to Can Tho was affected, at least slightly, by the wider array of creature comforts it offered. <br />Flash forward five months: The Emerald City is now home. I’ve left the dusty, sepia-tones of small city life in Vietnam. It’s bigger, louder, disorienting, and more crowded. It’s no longer a novelty to see another Westerner walk down the street and people don’t stop and stare at me as much as they did last year. But life in the big city is not the glorious OZ that I anticipated. Physical discomfort aside for now, I think the main difference is that it is lonelier. Like city living in general, the volunteers occupy self-contained units, rather than the more communal nature of An Giang University. Whereas we would pass each other in the hall last year, I have been in Can Tho three weeks and have yet to meet my next-door neighbors. The bloom is off the rose, and as the harsher realities of city life become more evident, the familiar smallness feels all the more appealing to this weary traveler. The Emerald City is indeed bigger and more crowded but it also feels more isolated and quite lonely to this country cousin who longs for sepia-toned familiarity rather than the technical excitement she once craved.<br />There’s a certain irony in the reversal from last year to this. Now, instead of looking forward to weekends full of Western food and shopping in Can Tho, I take every opportunity to escape the lonely isolation of Can Tho for the warm-sepia toned embrace of friends, old and new in Long Xuyen. And as the transit van deposits me at Tinh Hoa, where my dear Joan waits with open arms (and air-conditioning) I once again echo Dorothy’s words and exclaim, “There’s no place like home!”rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-22461315039706767502010-09-26T20:34:00.001+07:002010-09-26T20:36:16.882+07:00September NewsletterHi All,<br />Just a note that I've nearly finished this month's newsletter. If you' like to be added to the email list, just let me know. <br />Thanks again for all your support.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-5653602439337251982010-09-20T11:29:00.002+07:002010-09-20T11:41:15.358+07:00And so it begins...After spending my first two weeks back in Vietnam in a sort of 'holding pattern' things are set to get started tomorrow. I'm teaching two groups of faculty English, one beginner and an intermediate section. I'll also hold weekly office hours for MA students in academic writing and faculty with project proposal writing. I'm not sure it will keep my busy enough, but at least it will force me out of the house a few days a week. <br />Again your thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement will go a long way in sustaining me until my return in December.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-67494658288645150322010-09-17T17:14:00.001+07:002010-09-17T17:16:34.100+07:00It's the little things...As small as it may seem, my day was made infinitely better by the purchase and installation of my 3G internet connection. Not having to go to a coffee shop to access Gmail and Skype (although no Facebook) is going to be nice.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-31847324249413479042010-09-13T19:52:00.000+07:002010-09-13T19:54:20.938+07:00On Returning“I went to Vietnam because I had to go. It may have been a messy and botched experience but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t have gone. Sometimes life is messy and botched. We do our best. We don’t always know the right move.” (Pretty much copied from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Committed, except in her case she’s talking about her time in Cambodia). <br /> <br />A year ago, when my time in Vietnam was just beginning, I felt very much that I had to be here. It wasn’t something I could explain or articulate but more of a feeling and desire that took over my conscious thoughts and subconscious dreams. As my time wore on, I began to feel that it was, indeed, a botched and messy experience but one from which I couldn’t extract myself. So I stayed through the messiness and in the end, I would say I made the right move. However, significant questions arose this summer as I searched for the right next move. Was the natural inclination to return for a second term the right choice, or the easy one? I sought, and found, ways to justify a return. I weighed the pros and cons. I talked to friends and confidants. I wrestled with God. I explored options outside of returning. After all this discernment, I again thought that Vietnam was where God wanted me. And then, as often is the case once I’ve made a significant (and largely permanent) decision, I found a reason that made me want to change my mind and stay at home. On a chance (or as Mrs. Bantly would say, Providential) search for Thai basil to make Pho for my support and sending team, I met Matthew. What started as the gracious extension of credit when I realized I’d forgotten cash to pay for said basil quickly developed into a new and exciting relationship. Never before had my decision to return to Vietnam seemed like such a sacrifice. <br /> <br />I’ve been back in Vietnam less than a week, but it was in the first few minutes of my return that I fought the strong urge to walk back into the airport and buy a ticket on the first US bound plane. Granted, I was exhausted from almost 40 hours of travel, including three hours on the runway in Hong Kong in the midst of a huge thunderstorm, but at 5:30 in the morning all was miserable and all I wanted was to go home. Sitting at the airport, with a dead laptop and cell phone, helplessness overwhelmed me as I looked for a way to contact the people who were supposed to meet me there 7 hours earlier. Through further Providence, an English speaking cab driver came to my aid and eventually I made it to where I needed to be and promptly fell asleep for the next 10 hours. Unfortunately, this made me miss my ride to Can Tho, and so I’ve been trying to figure out a way to the university for the past 5 days or so. This is far from a stellar beginning and a less than resounding vote of confidence in my decision to return. Needless to say, these first days have been rough. It’s hot, I’m still jet-lagged, and my heart is torn between here and home. <br /> <br />I have to believe that this sacrifice will bring blessings that I cannot yet foresee. I know that I tend to be rather shortsighted, and my view of the future is always cloudy. These struggles will certainly serve some greater purpose, right? Until I see some good coming from this choice, I’m going to have to simply figure out how to live with the messiness of following what I still believe to be the call of God on my life, at this moment, faithfully, though often clumsily. That I might find grace and peace along this journey is all that I can pray for.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-75743674026879391452010-05-28T21:57:00.004+07:002010-05-28T22:32:05.306+07:00An Announcement! (and recent happenings)Hello there,<br />First of all, my deepest apologies to those of you who actually check this space occasionally for updates about my life here in Vietnam. Have no fear, I am still here and doing quite well. Time continues its steady, onward progression and my time here in Long Xuyen draws to a close as I write this last update. It's hard to believe that I leave the University on Tuesday, meet the Biblical Seminary IME group on Wednesday, and travel with them through Saigon, Long Xuyen, cross the Mekong into Phnom Penh, and wrap up our 11 days together with a brief exploration of Angkor Wat. Then I fly from Siem Reap to Saigon for one night before heading home to the States on 14 June. I'm looking forward to my two months at home and all that will happen. All I know for sure at this point is that I'll be taking my GRE's and spending a weekend in post-Christendom with my EMS classmates from the UK. Beyond that, quiet relaxation and time spent with family and friends await me... and I can't quite articulate how excited that makes me. <br /><br />But, since it's been such a long time since I've updated, I'll give a brief re-cap of what's been happening here in the Delta:<br />1) As of last posting, my plans for next year were uncertain and I was feeling rather tense and unsettled by that reality. WELL... things have been finalized in a very satisfactory way (at least it appears that way). Starting in August, I'll return to Vietnam, more specifically Can Tho University. I wanted to remain in the Delta simply because I feel like I finally understand the culture, partially, and wasn't too keen on the idea of moving to an entirely new context for what I know would only be a year or so. Can Tho is older than AGU and therefore has a broader network of International partners. My role specifically will involve English language classes for Junior staff, writing assistance for Master's Students, application and test preparation for study abroad, and working to strengthen and create new international linkages for the university. <br />2) For those of you who don't follow my Facebook statuses, I just spent a week-ish in the UK for an EMS (Eastern Mennonite Seminary) class entitled "Struggle and Hope in PostChristendom. Although most of the group was stranded by the ashcloud from that Icelandic volcano, and the class got off to a late start, it was a good experience. While I'm still processing and figuring out what exactly it will mean for me in the future, it was nice to be engaged in academic discussions about faith, politics, and changing social realities. (I realize I'm a bit of a nerd, but I've learned to embrace it). <br />3) Since returning from the UK, I've been packing in preparation for the next three transitions. Tomorrow, I move the belongings that I will leave in Vietnam over the summer to Can Tho. I'll also see the campus and meet some more of the faculty that I'll be working with next fall. Like I said earlier, Tuesday I head to Saigon for two weeks with the Biblical students. Then it's home. Lots of transitions, not a lot of time. Good-byes have started and run pretty solid until I leave. For all my complaints, I know this has been a valuable experience and I'd be wrong to negate all of the positives for the challenges. I have worked with people who have demonstrated true dedication and willingness to embrace my unorthodox approach. I have lived with a multi-cultural, multi-generational community of volunteers and in them I have found support, a listening ear, and Friday evening drinking partners. I have taught over 100 students, who made up for their lack of English ability with a desire to learn. I have been blessed by invitations for meals, coffee, trips to the tailor, and countless other adventures. I have been well looked after when I was sick, and I am grateful. There was no preparing for this experience before I left 10 months ago, and if I'd tried, I would have probably talked myself out of coming in the first place. <br /><br />As always, when I stand on the verge of something new, I feel a bittersweet longing for the familiar. It's safe to stay in one place, and even if there are exciting opportunities on the horizon, it's hard to take that initial step. Long Xuyen was a safe place to call 'home' but now it's time to move on. Whether Can Tho will be better or just different remains to be seen, but it's where I feel I'm being led. Who knows what lies in store after that, but that's alright. As I've just been reminded, while it's easy to get caught up in the future, my responsibility is to remain present. So... I guess I'm staying until I leave. And after that, I'm not quite sure.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-19172760683355574512010-03-01T11:51:00.003+07:002010-03-01T11:52:50.527+07:00February 2010 Update“It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to” (Bilbo Baggins, The Fellowship of the Ring). <br /><br />For as long as I can remember, I have found much resonance with journey metaphors. The idea of physically moving along the path of life makes the vastness of the human experience seem that much more manageable, something I often feel that I need. No matter what’s going on, there’s an aspect of the journey metaphor that is applicable; deserts, mountaintops, and deep valleys all have their respective places. <br /><br />Most recently, I’ve been struck by the sheer danger inherent in the journey. To journey implies that one leaves behind the safe and familiar and heads out into the unknown. Now, I recognize that no one, even those who never venture physically beyond their front doors are still on a deeply profound journey of their own and I would never hold myself in judgment of their choices. But those, whose lives become a journey, in reality as well as in metaphor, must acknowledge and embrace the danger inherent in going out your door. <br /><br />These thoughts and reflections on the dangers of the journey come at a point of ‘road-weariness’. Six months in to this particular leg of my journey, I have felt overwhelmed by dangers that have not, to this point, showed themselves. That is not to say; however, that the weeks since my last update have been without moments, even days of sheer enjoyment, because there most definitely were. Perhaps that is itself the danger of this journey; that in the span of a few days (or minutes, depending on one’s emotional state) it is possible to experience a refreshing oasis and scorching desert heat, or to be plunged from the highest mountain to the deepest valley. Once the initial excitement and new-ness of a place has worn off and a routine established, it’s easy to be lulled into a sense of security. After six months, I was pretty sure that the dangers of this stage of my journey were over and that I had done a pretty good job conquering them. I’d weathered storms, both physical and emotional. I’d come through deserts of loneliness. I’d adjusted to new foods, climate, and culture. As long as I could focus on the task at hand, things were going fairly well. But then my routine shifted, and suddenly I lost my way. It all started with a much anticipated visit from home. As part of my funding, I’m helping to coordinate a study tour in May with students from Biblical Seminary in Philly. And as preparation for that Steve Kriss and Miguel Lau came to Vietnam and Cambodia at the end of January. Although I’d been in Vietnam for almost six months at that point, I’d yet to venture to HCM City for anything more than a transit point on my way to DaLat. I’d spent a few days there three years ago on the EMU cross-cultural, but that was the extent of my experience with the city. So, off I went to the ‘big city’ and indeed I did feel a little like the poor country mouse that went to visit her rich city cousin. The day and a half in HCM City were full of luxuries and experiences that I hadn’t had for a long time, and some that I didn’t even realize that I’d been missing. We then travelled back to Long Xuyen for a few days, then on to Chau Doc and Phnom Penh. It was a whirlwind week, and one of the best I’ve had here simply because, for the first time, I was sharing the experience with people from home. (The duffel bag full of goodies from home didn’t hurt either ). Although I was still in Vietnam, it was an entirely different context than my routine and it felt great. Phnom Penh also proved to be an amazing experience. Upon returning to Long Xuyen on 3 February, I immediately began my extended TET holiday, which only proved to deepen my disorientation. <br /><br />For those not familiar, TET is the first month of the lunar year and the most important holiday of the year for the Vietnamese. As a result, the university shuts down for two weeks as staff and students return to their hometowns to celebrate. Due to the fact that the country essentially shuts down for that time, the other volunteers used this time for much needed vacations, but since I had just returned and was told that it is a good idea to stick around during TET, I decided to stay at the University. Let me just say now, BAD IDEA! I had the worst week that I’ve had in all of my time here that first week of the TET holiday. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so bad if I had not been coming off the high of travel and spending time away from the routine. What I realized during those very quiet and lonely days is that the shininess has worn off of my whole experience here and when I took a good hard look at what I’d accomplished in my time here, I couldn’t point to anything concrete. The idea that I’d failed weighed heavily on my heart and mind that week, and I gave myself permission to wallow in the sorrow and frustration that surrounded me. <br /><br />Now that life has largely returned to ‘normal’, I am regaining perspective on my time here. The shine; however, is still gone and I have to face the fact that what I thought I’d be able to do is not possible here. I accept that this is not entirely a reflection on me; but that there are circumstances beyond my control. I can honestly say that I have given my best efforts and will continue to do so for as long as I’m here, but I no longer labor under the illusion that this work will reap the harvest that I had initially hoped for. Given that I still believe in the IC3 project and the importance of its lessons for a globalizing world, I am beginning to weigh potential options for the 2010-11 school year. The bulk of those options will keep me in Vietnam or at least SE Asia just as I had planned originally. But there is the off chance that my journey in SE Asia will be shorter than imagined and I may find myself in a totally new context or back at home earlier than anticipated. All that remains to be seen.<br /><br />On this journey, one thing I know I’m learning is that sometimes the map you leave with proves to be inadequate, and you have to chart a new course to get where you want to go. So, as I work at discerning that new path, I invite your prayers and encouragement. I know that I do not journey alone and that I am indeed surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-72089990772867781402010-01-04T16:12:00.002+07:002010-01-08T11:00:32.862+07:00January 2010 UpdateGreetings!<br /><br />After a three month absence from the Blogosphere due to various reasons, I’m back! I’d say it was one of my New Years’ resolutions, but I don’t do those since I inevitably break them about three weeks into January. Instead, I feel like I’ve been selfishly hoarding this experience and it’s time that I started sharing it with those of you at home who have made it possible for me to be here in the first place.<br />1. Thanksgiving in Vietnam: I know I mentioned it in my most recent update, but Thanksgiving in Vietnam proved to be both a challenge and a blessing, although more of the former. The blessing came in the form of the 20 or so students and fellow volunteers that joined us for dinner. It was rewarding to see that the hours spend in the kitchen in 90 degree heat were not in vain as everyone ate with gusto. But, all the effort to make it feel like Thanksgiving at home only served to remind me how far short my efforts were going to fall. So, important lesson learned: It is better to make the best with what you have than to try to recreate something only to disappoint yourself with the results.<br />2. Phu Quoc Island: To celebrate the end of the first semester and to recuperate adequately for the start of the second, a fellow volunteer and I traveled to Phu Quoc Island for five days. While not all that far from An Giang, it took us 8 hours to get to the Island. Tropical breezes, the calm waters of the Gulf of Thailand, and a bungalow with a thatched roof and a hammock made the perfect backdrop for our vacation. The beach was just steps away from the bungalow and the weather was gorgeous. It was an utterly self-indulgent vacation where I did nothing but swim, sleep, read, and eat. <br />3. Final Exams: Never before have I been on the ‘teacher’ side of final exams and it was quite an eye-opening experience. If nothing else, the experience was an instructive look at the Vietnamese educational bureaucracy, and it is not a pretty sight. Test creating, proctoring and grading is an oppressive and soul-draining process that strips both students and teachers from any motivation. The Vietnamese education system has long valued rote memorization and that is how students are tested, by reciting exactly what they were taught during the semester. The pressure is intense, yet there is little or no critical thinking or analysis of what has been taught. Likewise, the teachers despite claiming to be shifting to ‘student-centered learning’ are reluctant to embrace new methods of teaching or testing. It’s been frustrating to observe this and know that there’s no way I can change it.<br />4. Christmas in Long Xuyen: Given the frustration I experienced trying to make Thanksgiving feel like it does at home, I approached Christmas with no small amount of trepidation. But, it actually turned out to be a very enjoyable time. The University went to great lengths to ensure we volunteers had a good Christmas. The celebrations began on December 23 with the University sponsored party that included karaoke with the ‘bigwigs’ from many of the departments and thoughtful gifts. Christmas Eve meant dinner and a river cruise with the volunteers and assorted guests as well as an impromptu gathering of foreigners at the local watering-hole. Christmas Day was a pretty quiet day during which I talked to my family and attended Mass in the afternoon. The day concluded with wine and cheese and conversation with the Aussies, Joan, Rafaella, and me. While nothing like the Christmas’s at home, this felt right and good and I realized that it’s much easier to embrace the new setting for a celebration than it is to transplant unrealistic expectations from home.<br />5. New Year’s in Dalat: One of the adult students in my writing class invited a fellow volunteer and one of the staff members to spend a long weekend with her family in Dalat. Separately, another friend who manages one of the volunteer agencies here had planned to spend New Years in Dalat with her volunteer and invited me to join them. So, after a 13 hour bus ride with a brief stop in Saigon, I arrived in Dalat. My Lonely Planet Guide refers to Dalat as “bizarro Vietnam” and it’s completely correct. In the central highlands, Dalat is well known for its vineyards, strawberries and artichokes. It is also home to an annual flower festival that boasts some spectacular displays and draws insanely large crowds. While there, we visited and had lunch with monks at a Buddhist pagoda, paddled swan boats on the lake, toured the flower gardens, gazed at the city skyline from atop the highest hotel’s rooftop coffee shop, ate incredible food, got sunburned while hiking, drank real (non-UHT) milk, and rode motorbikes through countryside that looked like it could have been anywhere in Europe. It was an incredibly busy few days, but totally worth it for the change of pace and temperature from here in the delta. I’ve already made plans to return in April because Linh (the student who invited us) has a nine-year old daughter and our birthdays are only two days apart, so we’re going to have a joint party. <br />So, that’s a brief recap of life here in the past few months. It’s hard to believe that as I write this I’ve been here nearly five months, yet it is starting to feel more like home each day. There’s a rhythm and routine to the days and weeks. But there are also unexpected moments of challenge and joy each and every day. Sometimes I catch my breath as the reality of what I’m doing hits me once again and I am in awe of the providence that has led me to this place at this time. I know, in spite of the challenges, this is exactly where I am supposed to be and I’m so thankful for those who pushed me to embrace this opportunity and make it a reality. I acknowledge that without the support and encouragement of countless people from home I wouldn’t be here, or would have turned back long ago. Therefore, I just want to say once again, Thanks! <br />Blessings to you all,<br />Rachelrachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-76895235544732759092009-10-03T13:27:00.001+07:002009-10-03T13:29:12.063+07:00In the presence of my 'enemies' on the International Day of Non-Violence<p class="MsoNormal">There are too many thoughts running through my head at the moment and I feel an intense need to get them out and organized in some semi-coherent way. My internal dialogue has been going at light speed for the past several days as I’ve been reflecting on the experiences that planted the seed of my current sojourn in Vietnam and thoughts relating to the occasion of Gandhi’s birthday and International Day of Non-Violence have joined in the cacophony in my head.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I’m not sure that I can make any sense out of them, but what follow are my attempts to do just that.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>It’s hard to believe that the first inklings that a trip to Vietnam might be in my future started over three years ago, and at that point, it was alongside a much more anticipated possible trip to Iran. What intrigued me was the way the trip was framed as an opportunity to relate with ‘enemies past and present’. At that point, the drums of war were beating once again as it seemed my country had already set its sights on war with Iran, just as it had done in Afghanistan and Iraq. The hate-speech and misinformation was rampant and as a student of history, I could see several parallels between that moment and what I’d learned about the build up to the war in Vietnam. The study tour to these two countries promised an opportunity, no matter how small, to sit at the table with those who had been or are currently enemies of the country I call home. As our preparations continued, I became more excited about the prospect of humanizing those who seemed so distant and foreign to my realm of experience. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Flash forward three years. I’ve been to and returned from both Iran and Vietnam. I sat around tables and experienced humbling hospitality at the tables of ‘my enemies’. I toured the War Remnants museum with a Vietnamese teacher who lost half of her family in the war waged by my country. I sat at a table with Muslim scholars who knew my own theology better than I do. I drank countless cups of tea and coffee and spent hours in conversation. Naively, I assumed that these experiences were behind me as I settled into the routine of real life after graduation. But, whether through divine providence, serendipity, or just plain coincidence, I’ve once again found myself living in the land of a former enemy. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Now, several weeks into my two year sojourn in a country that is beginning to feel more and more like home, I am again reminded of the dire importance of meeting and relating with those whom we are told are the ‘evil other’. While that language is no longer used to describe the Vietnamese, except by those who still consider socialism/communism to be the work of evil in the world, the voices of dehumanization and isolation continue to rage against Iran. I sit in my room at the international guest house and I watch the BBC and read the Washington Post. Living, as I am in the very best example of American foreign policy gone horribly wrong, I can only pray that reason will prevail and the examples of the past will inform our present choices. If only those who made the decisions that bring life or death, dialogue or isolation, a new way forward or the continuation of old hatreds could live with those who will feel the effects of those decisions. If they could walk the streets of Hanoi or Tehran, if they could share a bowl of pho or plate of kebab, perhaps then there would be less talk of us and them, and more of we. I know that I’m drastically oversimplifying and that my mind cannot grasp the elements of realpolitik involved… but perhaps we need to see things more simply and look at the shared humanity that binds us together, rather than the political, ideological and religious differences that divide us. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>As if the cacophony of these voices running through my head were not enough, they have been joined over the past day with thoughts of the International Day of Nonviolence, to celebrate and remember the birthday of Gandhi on October 2. In addition to the drums of international war between the US and Iran, wars continue to rage around the world. The human family is torn apart by strife and competition for scarce resources. Differences in religion, race, gender, political persuasion, sexual orientation, and worldview fan the flames of overt violence and more hidden forms such as prejudice, exploitation, and discrimination. Instead of working, as Gandhi sought to do, for the non-harm of all and the conquering power of ‘truth force’ we seek to establish an advantage for our position at the expense of those not quite as powerful. Proponents of nonviolence in the international arena are mocked and derided as weak and out of touch with reality while the voices of violence and triumphalism are welcomed with open arms. While I’m realistic enough to know that creating a day to commemorate the life of a person who inspired so many of the non-violent struggles for independence and human rights will not create a substantial difference, it has certainly provided the motivation for some reflection. So, I guess this all comes down to just that, this is simply my reflection on what would happen if on this day, people set aside their differences and sat in conversation with those whom they generally view as ‘other’. Maybe nothing would change and my dreams are simply the longings of a soul that cannot fathom where humanity will be if we continue on our current path of dehumanization and an all out competition to make sure ‘we’ come out on top. But, just maybe small changes could begin to take shape; maybe just the seeds of changes could find fertile ground as people reflect on the humanity that connects us. </p>rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-59720286425516299362009-10-01T12:43:00.004+07:002009-10-01T13:48:43.489+07:00Ramblings from a drug-induced stuporThat's right, folks... I have a cold. It hit with a vengeance on Monday night after my evening class ended at 9. What seemed innocuous enough as a tickle in my throat turned into a full-fledged sore throat, congestion, headache and cough by the time the alarm went off at 6 Tuesday morning. Luckily, Tuesday is my 'light' day when I have only 2 hours of class and those were easily cancelled. So, I crawled back into bed, cursing my lack of foresight to bring any sort of cold medicine with me and my inability to speak enough Vietnamese to buy some on my own. <div>For those of you unfamiliar with shopping in Vietnam, there's no real equivalent to Wal-mart or Target which is a truly sad thing when you really need a variety of things such as cold medicine, chicken soup, and orange juice. Instead, getting cold medicine turned out to be a day long process. First I talked to one of the TA's at the RCCD because Joan had asked him if he knew where we could get some ginseng lozenges. So, he called Ms. Yen in the International Relations office since her father is a doctor and she called him to see what medicine they should give me. BUT... she didn't call him right away, so I popped some Advil and went about my day. By lunch, my throat was as raw and painful as possible and my ears were popping pretty fiercely. It was all I could do to drag myself back into bed and pray that I'd feel better when I woke up. I did, somewhat, but I was still no closer to getting cold medicine. Finally, around 7:30 or so I get a text from Phung saying that Yen thought that I should see a doctor in case it wasn't just a cold. While my experience in Vietnam has generally been positive, I wasn't feeling like I wanted to be introduced to the medical system quite yet so I said I didn't think that was necessary. But, I asked Phung, can you help me get some medicine? Sadly, there's something wrong with my phone and he didn't get the message. So Tuesday night passed simply due to the Advil and sleeping pill that I took in the hopes that it would simply knock me out. </div><div>Wednesday morning, not feeling as awful... sore throat largely gone, but it appears it's a sinus infection rather than the cold it had started out as. I drag myself to class because I do not want to have to schedule a make-up session. While I'm teaching, in walks Phung and we set a time to go to the pharmacy after I'm done teaching. Well... the pharmacy is right across the street from the campus and it looks exactly like the countless shops that line the street, selling everything from cell phones to motorbike parts and everything in between. Stepping up to the counter, the smiling woman in the white coat asks Phung, or me through Phung, what my symptoms are and how long I've had them. As they talk (and I listen, uncomprehendingly) she begins to reach into the cupboards behind her and assemble various drugs into little plastic bags. She admonishes me to stay away from AirCon and fans for a while and after paying her my 22,000 VND (just over $1 US) I left with three doses of four pills that are supposed to help and a box of lozenges. </div><div>Now, there are many things that I was taught as a child about health and safety. One of the primary lessons was not to take medicine if you didn't know what it was... but, I figured that the pharmacy lady knew more about the medicine I needed than I did and so when I got home I popped the pills and crawled into bed once again. Waking two hours later, I could already tell that there was some improvement as I was not nearly as congested as I'd been before. I made it through my afternoon class, feeling better as the afternoon moved on. I ventured out for dinner last night and managed to stay awake until 10:45 last night (which is pretty late for me since I teach at 7 am).</div><div>I took my last dose this morning and would say that I'm about 75% better. Pretty speedy recovery since my last cold seemed to drag on forever! So, whatever was in those packets must have worked and I'm thankful for that.</div><div>In other news... I'm ending up my 7th week here in Vietnam and things continue to go well. It's been cooler and rainier recently which I must confess I love. There have actually been days where I haven't sweat and that's a welcome change from the first few weeks I was here. Other than the cold, my health is good and I'm getting plenty of rest and fresh food (no worries there, Mom). I continue to learn my way around town, which is incredibly liberating. I also had my first ao dai made this week for a wedding I'm going to on Saturday... and I must say it looks rather stunning. I'll post pictures later. That's it for now since I've ramble on too long already. </div><div><br /></div>rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-26569472885628640702009-09-11T21:40:00.004+07:002009-09-11T22:37:42.544+07:00ObservationsIt's hard to believe that I've been here four weeks. At times it feels as though the days have flown by and I've been here much longer, but at other times, I feel just as overwhelmed with the newness of the situation as I was when I stepped off the plane. Like every major life transition, even those that we anticipate with great excitement, adjusting to life in Vietnam is a daily task. Some days, I do very well and others I find it more of a struggle. But, in order to reflect accurately on the past month, I figured it would be helpful to focus this post on the things, both large and small, that have brought joy and refreshment to my time here, thusfar:<div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>*A bunch of fresh bananas from Dalat delivered to my room tonight by some of my students at RCCD.<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* An impromptu sinh to (fruit smoothie) date with some 8D1 students to celebrate two classmates' birthdays<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* Five hour coffee/conversations with the Aussie couple downstairs... they say I remind them of their children.<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* The smiling woman who automatically starts to crack the egg for my banh mi opla (fried egg on baguette) as soon as I arrive at her cart. Today she made room for me under her umbrella so that I wouldn't have to stand in the sun while I waited for the egg to cook. Neither of us can communicate in the other's language, but I'm hopeful that will change soon enough.</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* Truyen, the owner of the bar that many of the international volunteers go to, and his soulful renditions of Simon and Garfunkel's "El Condor Pasa". Not my favorite S&G song, but it brings a smile to my face. (Oh, and his french fries have already saved me from a Western food craving more than once.)<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* Having my afternoons free allows for lengthly lunches and mid-day coffees. Gotta love a culture that appreciates the nap. :)<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* The group of badminton players that invite me into their games, offer me a raquet, and attempt to bring their play down to my level while yelling for me to hit 'harder'. It's great fun, an amazing workout, and fun to see the same group of people each time...<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* That I'm no longer petrified by the crazy traffic to venture past the lit-up q-tip. People don't want to hit me just as much as I don't want to hit them, so as long as we don't hit each other, we'll be alright. On the same lines, I'm learning my way around, which is pretty liberating :).<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* Ice cream! (and the fact that my mint ice cream with coconut milk and crushed peanuts cost all of 3000 dong or less than $.25).<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>* When I went into the RCCD office on Wednesday one of the other teachers told me the group was excited to learn with me. (For someone who's still figuring out this whole 'teacher thing' I took it as a good sign).<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>*That my leaving has inspired my mother to not only get a Facebook page, but also use Skype. Now if she could only understand the 11 hour time difference and stop calling at 3 AM.<br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>*Joan Easton. She's a 74 year old humanities professor from Minesota and we've hit it off splendidly. Since we both teach in two different departments, we've shared a lot of the same confusion but as she reminds me, "Two heads are better than one, even if they are cabbages".<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm sure there are many others, but these are the moments that have brought joy to my days and a smile to my face. Although there are things I miss about home, like cheese that melts, a shower that's separated from the rest of the bathroom, and not having to clean up gecko droppings... life here is pretty good and for that I'm grateful.</div>rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-83107081572749847902009-09-04T15:21:00.002+07:002009-09-04T16:21:51.833+07:00I feel a rant coming on...Let me start off with a qualifier... I'm tired. Not physically tired, but emotionally and intellectually exhausted. After two weeks of classes and navigating this new context, it's beginning to feel less foreign, and for this I am grateful. But I get the distinct feeling that with the newness some of the adreneline is also wearing off. My motivation for plowing through the obstacles that seem to crop up with great regularity is also waning and I imagine simply giving in to the system that's already in place. <div><br /></div><div>I desperately want to be passionate and committed to my ideals and visions of implementing IC3 on a broader scale at AGU, and it appears that RCCD (Resource Center for Rural Development) would be the natural partner since its students are already involved in development work in their home communities. But I've been told that this is not a group of students that we experiment with... and so I'm stuck. </div><div><br /></div><div>There are so many obstacles in my path right now: the existing curriculum that does not allow for growth in critical thinking or increased comfort level with intercultural and development partners; the wide range of student ability that seems to make it impossible to meet the more advanced students' need for stimulation and challenge while also addressing the more basic needs of the other learners; the constrained flexibility of the RCCD itself, I've been told I can use the curriculum of my choice but have also been discouraged from deviating from the established curriculum, and my own ineptitude. I'm more passionate than I am knowledgeable and that seems pretty dangerous. Perhaps my idealism has blinded me to the realities that this course includes, but it seems irresponsible to waste valuable time and resources teaching skills that exist in a vaccum. Instead of teaching students to write about traditional foods or the like, wouldn't it be more useful in their work to learn the same skills but in the context of development issues such as health or education? Again, perhaps I'm being naive but it's just frustrating. </div><div><br /></div><div>At this point, it feels like it's too late for me to back out of this cohort since classes start on Monday, but I'm just not sure that I can work within this system. I dread the thought of being constrained by such an irrelevant curriculum but don't feel like I have the freedom or the ability to come up with a suitable alternative. I wouldn't have agreed to teach this course if I'd known I'd have to use the existing curriculum since that's not really the reason I'm here, and while I hate to sound selfish, I don't really feel like this is the best use of my time here. While most of my experiences here so far have worked toward assuaging my fear that this is an assignment beyond my capabilities, I'm afraid I may have underestimated the challenge that this RCCD class is going to provide. I guess we'll see... </div>rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-7744333134337952842009-08-31T22:42:00.002+07:002009-08-31T23:03:10.270+07:00A week in and feeling more settledHello all!<div>I'm planning to continue posting weekly updates here until I get so busy that my customary lack of communication skills set in. </div><div><br /></div><div>To sum it up in a word the first week of classes was intense. I'm not quite sure that I have enough distance from it yet to say whether it was good or bad, but it was intense. Overall, I think it went fairly well although there were the inevitable kinks to be worked out with room assignments, figuring out which students were in which sections, unexpected class cancellations, and available technology resources. In spite of those minor incidents, I'm finding my students friendly and willing to engage the curriculum and the learning process. Above all, they have been patient with me as I figure out exactly how to meet their learning needs. The classes are beginning to develop a rhythm as we get used to each other and I'm cofident that the nerves will soon give way to a positive learning environment.</div><div><br /></div><div>As the newness of that aspect of my life wears off, the guest house dynamics are shaping up as well. I arrived back before the other international volunteers so the first weeks have been pretty quiet but other the past few days the others have started to arrive. So far there is a Vietnamese American named Mark, the Phillips' (an Aussie couple working with the Agriculture department), and a 74 year old volunteer from the states named Joan. We're still waitin for the others to arrive, but I think it's going to be a good experience. </div><div><br /></div><div>On Saturday (don't ask me why faculty meetings are held on Saturday's) there's a meeting between the IC3 teachers to discuss ways in which it can be integrated between reading, writing and listening/speaking classes as well as the different levels. Since this is what excites me most about this project, I'm really looking forward to this opportunity to begin working together at moving the project forward into new territory. In addtion, I'll start teaching the writing section of the new group of students at the Resource Cente for Rural Development. Although not specifically an IC3 assignment, I have enough freedom to work at integrating some of the learnings and skills into the existing curriculum. </div><div><br /></div><div>I think that's enough rambling for now... Good night!</div>rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-55888853344398890312009-08-23T20:48:00.002+07:002009-08-23T21:11:51.800+07:00Tomorrow's the DayFor someone who complained about 8 o'clock classes all through my time at EMU, it's rather ironic (or perhaps karmic) that I'm scheduled to teach classes at 7 AM four days a week! Yep, classes start tomorrow and I actually think I'm pretty prepared. I've spent most of the weekend working on the syllabus, looking at the curriculum and trying to understand what exactly goes on in a listening/speaking classroom. While I don't entirely have my head around it yet, I at least feel confident that I'll make it through the first 3 periods on Monday and Wednesday. <div><br /></div><div>One of the challenges of preparing for these classes is fearing that my own inadequacy as a teacher will get in the way of genuine student learning. While I'm passionately convinced that there is real value in the IC3 approach, I'm less certain of my ability to aid students' learning processes. My only expertise in listening/speaking comes because I'm a native speaker, and as we all know, native speakers do not necessarily make effective teachers. My hope is that I won't get in the way of student learning, and, just maybe help them along the journey of not only increasing their English language skills but also their inter-cultural understanding.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, I guess that's it for now. If you think of it, keep me in your thoughts/prayers tomorrow as I'm still pretty nervous about the beginning of classes and the process of getting acquainted with my students. I'll be sure to keep you informed about the inevitable challenges and moments of gratification over the next few weeks. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-81320777465179853092009-08-20T09:02:00.002+07:002009-08-20T10:18:30.991+07:00A brief re-cap of these first days in VietnamWow! To say that these last days have flown by in a bit of a whirlwind would be an enormous understatement. Here's a bit of what's happened since I arrived Saturday night:<br /><br />* A four and a half hour drive from the airport to Long Xuyen City, including two river crossings by ferry and arrival at my home for the nex two years at around 4:00 AM.<br /><br />* My first of many interesting breakfast experiences: Fish noodles and iced coffee. (Really, really good... even at 10 AM). Since the first morning, I've also enjoyed vegetarian noodles with fried eggrolls, beef noodle soup and a cheese sandwich with pickled carrot, diakon, and cilantro.<br /><br />* A workshop where students presented incredible action research projects on IC3. These presentations highlighted areas of strength and growth for the curriculum and its implementation at AGU.<br /><br />* Meetings with Foreign Langauage faculty as well as the deans and directors of non-English major departments about collaboration with/integration of IC3 and the MDP projects, including the use of Global Classroom technologies.<br /><br />* A full day in Can Tho meeting with their faculty of English Education and the newly formed School of Social Sciences and Humanities. They have agreed to pilot the use of IC3 with their second and third year students this year as well as join in the International Film Series. What an valuable opportunity to work at partnering with another school in the Delta.<br /><br />* Countless introductions and overwhelming signs of welcome: I've felt very welcomed by all those with whom I've interacted over these first days and I look forward to taking everyone up on their invitations to go for coffee and help me get settled in here now that Dan's leaving for Hanoi and I'm pretty much on my own.<br /><br />* Jet-lag. While I'm pretty much acclimated, it's still a bit of a challenge to stay awake much past 9 and I'm usually up right around 6. Those of you have worked with me know that this is quite a change from my sleeping in at home.<br /><br />* HEAT: Walking outside in the morning, my glasses steam up and I am considering writing to Revlon to let them know that their foudation is NOT sweatproof, like they claim. But, I'm already appreciating that the rains help to cool things down substantially and staying inside the AirCon between 11:00 and 1:30 is helpful. I've been reassured that eventually I'll get so used to the heat that I won't be drenched with sweat in the first few minutes outside and that visitors will marvel at how 'crazy-cool' I am. Until then...<br /><br />Well, that's certainly not everything... but it should suffice to give you all a glimpse of what's beein going on with me. I'm sure I'll have more to say soon when I'm more settled in and such.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-28297359429033112892009-08-18T06:17:00.000+07:002009-08-18T06:19:04.809+07:00Musings from 30,000 feet...From somewhere over the Pacific Ocean on a day that began at a hotel in Washington at 4:45 AM and will not end until 4 AM the following day in a time zone 11 hours ahead, after 30+ hours of travel. I’m feeling disoriented to say the least. Emotionally and physically, I’m bordering on exhaustion. Making such a concerted effort to present a strong sense of certainty about this new venture has required a certain amount of emotional distancing that helped get me through the good-byes that could have paralyzed me over the past few days, but I feel that it’s left me exhausted enough that as soon as things settle down and I realize the reality of my decision to be gone for two years that I just might break down. Don’t get me wrong, I know this is the right step for me, and the place that I need to be, but it was not an easy choice for me to make and embrace. I am certain that these next two years will full of unfathomable challenges. At times during the process of bringing this dream into reality, I’ve questioned my ability to handle the challenges and expectations that await me in Vietnam. Questions like, Can I do this? Am I in over my head? Am I crazy? Why? Pepper my thoughts even as I doggedly pursued a way to make this happen. Those with whom I shared some of these concerns did their best to realistically assuage my fears, while keeping me grounded in the reality this time will present me with challenges that will stretch beyond my wildest expectations.<br /><br />At times, especially when I’m on the brink of something new, I find myself longing for a smaller life. I long to be satisfied by the things that comprise a ‘normal’ life. Though I chafe against the constraints of routine and get restless when I’m in the same place for too long, part of me wishes for a sense of contentment with the lie that doesn’t keep pushing me so far from the world I know. While I know that these are largely reactionary desires that simply promise an easier alternative to the options that push, mold and shape me, a small part of me wishes for fulfillment in them nonetheless.<br /><br />There’s a chapter in Parker Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak entitled “Now I Become Myself” and that line keeps running through my mind as I contemplate what this journey will mean. The line is taken from a larger poem that I can’t remember but in it, the poet speaks of the process by which authentic selfhood is formed. This process, she says has taken her many places, and in that time she has worn many different faces, but now, she says I become myself. This feels like one of those moments for me, as I stand on the brink and peer out into the unknown. I don’t know which self will reveal itself in these next days, weeks, and months. I have caught glimpses of it in the questions which haunt my thoughts and the things about which I become passionate. But, I am sure that this true picture of myself will surprise even me as she is born throughout this time. I look forward to this birth, even as I anticipate the pains that will accompany it.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-29705600591758648472009-08-01T01:34:00.002+07:002009-08-01T01:54:20.647+07:00All My Bags are Packed... Round 1My Harrisonburg good-byes have been said. My apartment is as empty as it was on the day that I moved in almost two years ago. My car is loaded down with the remainder of my earthly possessions that haven't already been moved back to PA, donated to Gift & Thrift, or sold. With just over two hours left in town, it's hard to believe that it's all come to an end. For months, this has been a possibility, but it hasn't felt quite real. Even now, I'm not sure exactly what I'm feeling: Tired, it's been a busy week with late nights and early mornings; Overwhelmed, as with any transition there are a million details that somehow keep multiplying even after I've checked some off of my to-do list; Appreciative of the wonderful outpourings of love and support I've received from friends and colleagues over these past days; Slightly guilty for having to leave so (seemingly) abruptly; Uncertain about what these next weeks and months will hold. So, basically I'm a huge mass of conflicting and ill-defined emotions. I'm hopeful that these next two weeks will provide time for reflection, re-grouping, and relaxation in the midst of packing, yet again, for this next stage of my journey.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-72198578141060800532009-07-16T21:44:00.002+07:002009-07-16T22:01:17.627+07:00It's final... I'm moving to Vietnam in 29 Days!!After months of waiting, the uncertainty has come to an end. I awoke this morning to find an email with the long-awaited visa code in my inbox! Now that I have the visa code, all the changes that have been tempered with condition that I receive my visa can actually begin to take place. I've given notice at work and will make that decision public tomorrow. My last day in Virginia will be 31 July and then it's two weeks in PA before I fly to Ho Chi Minh City on 14 August. Dan Wessner and I will be met by someone from An Giang University at the airport on 15 August and we'll arrive in Long Xuyen early Sunday morning. Those next days will be filled with meetings with Foreign Language Department faculty and students who have been working at implementing IC3 at AGU. In addition, we will meet with other interested parties within the university as we explore opportunities for taking IC3 beyond the FLD.<br /><br />It's daunting, to say the least, but my excitement is running high today. There is much that needs to happen yet, but it feels so good to have this significant issue taken care of. Now I can begin to do what needs to be done. The cleaning, packing, end-tying up, and good-byeing will be difficult. But, it's time and I can't wait to see what awaits me on this next leg of my journey.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-90664231259109296012009-07-12T22:22:00.004+07:002009-07-12T23:00:04.325+07:00The Good-byes begin...After all the uncertainty of the past seven months, it's sometimes hard to believe that I'll be in Vietnam in just a little over a month!<br /><br />As exciting as this is, I feel the need to focus on what all is going to happen between now and then. I've never been good at living in the moment. It seems that I'm always dreaming of the future or holding tightly to the past, but I struggle to ground myself in present realities. In the excitement and sometime frenzy of making plans, I think I've neglected to acknowledge the magnitude of the changes that are going to take place in a very short period of time. Last night, the good-byes started. Due to crazy summer schedules, it was the last night that Shannon, Heidi, Lynette, Abby, and I were able to spend a 'girls' night out' together. Over the past months, these wonderful ladies have formed the core of my social network here and I was reminded, as we sat and watched the sunset and night fall over Court Square, of just how much their support and encouragement has meant to me throughout this process. And this is just the beginning of the transitions. In less than two weeks, most of my material possessions will make the reverse migration to Pennsylvania. The apartment that has been home for the past two years will no longer be home, it will move into my past. While the trek is familiar, it is still diffucult. I must also say good-bye to those with whom I have shared my Mon-Fri, 8-5 life. While I have struggled to find meaning and purpose in the mundanity of some aspects of my work over the past several months, I have always been appreciative of those who with whom I work. We've often joked that rather than co-workers, I have acquired more mothers. In a way, it's true. I have been nurtured and encouraged by these women (and the men too). And I know that the months I've spent with them has helped to shape me into the person who now is able to step out beyond her realm of experience into something that is so largely unknown and mysterious.<br /><br />It's going to be harder that I'd imagined to extricate myself from this Harrisonburg community. While I remain convinced that going to An Giang is the will of God revealed to me at this particular time and place, I need to acknowledge that following this path will not always be easy and pain-free. There will be moments along this journey when I long to return to the safety and familiarity of home. I will question why I made the choices I've made and the motivation behind those choices. The good-byes will overwhelm me and I will feel pretty alone. Acknowledging this doesn't make the inevitable pain of leaving go away, but it helps to simply stop and force myself to see past the naive dreams of the amazing potential of this Vietnam venture.<br /><br />In the next days and weeks, I can only assume that the rate and pace of change will increase rapidly. I'm expecting that my visa and work permit authorization codes will arrive this week. In two weeks, my parents will come down to Harrisonburg to help me pack up the apartment. The week after that I'll finish up at EMU. The first weekend of August, I have a SST meeting and my commissioning service will be at First Mennonite church (in Johnstown) at 7 on August 2 for any of you that would want to come. From there, it's a brief week and a half before August 14 when I officially embark on this new and very fascinating stage of my journey.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-49815992474073820832009-06-28T07:57:00.006+07:002009-06-28T08:25:26.575+07:00They say a picture is worth a thousand words...<div><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1IE1frfQsacRQkY4vAxNIzJndnVJrNM1OpT-a94QS80KC_tfoskpXfR488kKbbq5IFn4Y1QZnwgG-mntXHU1dgo2TECnfXDZFWWBxfYFrphv2226x24a4V8cw3mPNYF1UmS_8V9xtBmc/s1600-h/029.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352181302211190354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1IE1frfQsacRQkY4vAxNIzJndnVJrNM1OpT-a94QS80KC_tfoskpXfR488kKbbq5IFn4Y1QZnwgG-mntXHU1dgo2TECnfXDZFWWBxfYFrphv2226x24a4V8cw3mPNYF1UmS_8V9xtBmc/s320/029.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr8UHMU5btsXSN8ZzFZW1botRywDPqfhdWh0xwdIOtjkXbdRZfMOtE1knWmAgeuTbcoX0U1TuHhXR2LF1vAqXkD0wHoRE9my5IDMIpi9nqxlupMEEjjFnhpwP8xXb5HU1-G-a6ZHWrdmU/s1600-h/050.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352179879437431938" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr8UHMU5btsXSN8ZzFZW1botRywDPqfhdWh0xwdIOtjkXbdRZfMOtE1knWmAgeuTbcoX0U1TuHhXR2LF1vAqXkD0wHoRE9my5IDMIpi9nqxlupMEEjjFnhpwP8xXb5HU1-G-a6ZHWrdmU/s320/050.JPG" border="0" /></a> The view from the top of the boat in HaLong Bay...<br /> Absolutely beautiful<br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM8cfdZeEbO6sakKKgrCJJjjn7Y2jQEYVC-9iiQqtmaZ0baIIavB092g0FdehrOgb8r24Pvj9cCs-W6bo-i-Cxx96bx50jT9EYAf_18HBQ8ns4AODAzIMRIZ4VddCvuP9oufYapUHyadI/s1600-h/027.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352179871481268722" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM8cfdZeEbO6sakKKgrCJJjjn7Y2jQEYVC-9iiQqtmaZ0baIIavB092g0FdehrOgb8r24Pvj9cCs-W6bo-i-Cxx96bx50jT9EYAf_18HBQ8ns4AODAzIMRIZ4VddCvuP9oufYapUHyadI/s320/027.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352179867290628786" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOFyC1jR-5bxgv3NRHwRyc-Ecng0X5lCXmJiMg9024i7D2xdtufN0aeo67GdKezTP2sqTg9hsUgoCWQBwMteY3WVj5JJpl9NHpgqyGuqBzFxdb9Sk_fCJ7Im04Onj_g6Ce-IkH7sMSSIE/s320/041.JPG" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352177550885263362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbN5r36U5WyndAVHB11ZHkmM-kaXBmF6Aol8pHu_zN4fEP-qYpOSz6YqqL6w7cjNCxmnAEwrECrcA_cFjgo55cVxoqmm8kOf1MLgW16TWZ9Cqkv9N38RHUjtw6wnTM3bOfDIj1l8VPYec/s320/076.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352181320161307202" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivfviwj1nhd_4iaojzY7RRjKlfOVq7ZKmdpOtOeb_5N3bSyYJMijY_5UHD6a4E2XXKITsiALjrDKMyvJtW1vFP9BlPEq3rBM75GJ5PpF9VvmnfEQwx_PO9zz3Ox2gDFYsFtBTfD_3cP-w/s320/113.JPG" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352181304747235794" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuG4pI2NFfXpxryBnpA6xwmDevZK4XlmXRsXd66i6Nq6NCqc-zATkVmJMvR2gOFQuGecBAoqelyVnz7SDBqRnV1FcRzeoyVbjhzmS9L4wDIpx-vBiZkNuDRQIZMSNCCe5uXP4LArKFUqc/s320/110.JPG" border="0" /> Some of the lovely ladies of 6D1...Hard to believe they've graduated.</div><div> <br /><br /><div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGHidPo4duRcnkCkA3lQjFYcmqlSeqoBsLuFXgQnDJ4QchxX2-Aw4pXf81phUiTfNfOfDge-1WOuM2KGxkUMOqW1kftss9FuV1FN3KJaY38My38PBDI705kxTzaOSPdQu0cBkaODPkySI/s1600-h/029.JPG"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-57493942407879930212009-06-27T21:20:00.003+07:002009-06-28T05:48:22.984+07:00The Countdown is on...48 days! My flight is booked and I'll be flying to Vietnam on 14 August.<br /><br />It's hard to describe my internal dialogue for the past few days. So much has been happening and all the changes seem so much more real now that I have a concrete date, rather than an abstract time frame for my departure and embarkation on this next, very different stage of my life. Part of me still feels trapped in limbo, as I do not have my actual work permit or residence visa yet. So, theoretically it could all come to nothing at the stroke of a bureaucrat's pen. The likelihood of that happening appears to be very slim since we have received nothing but positive feedback from the rectorates of An Giang and Can Tho Universities. Our correspondence with the International Office at An Giang has indicated that they are very excited for my presence on campus beginning in August and we have gone so far as to schedule meetings with the respective rectorates, faculty, and IC3 students from 16-18 August.<br /><br />All of this leaves me very hopeful that this dream will become reality, while at the same time reality is weighing a bit more heavily on me with the reduction of uncertainty. As the reality of leaving the familiar world of work, friends, and family descends through the fog of naivete, I cannot help but feel some apprehension. I suspect this is natural, and not all that disconcerting. What frightens me is the weight of IC3 expectations and my ability to meet them. With all those involved depending on me to bridge the US and Vietnam, I can't help but wonder if this is really something I have the ability to do. The task is daunting and because I believe so strongly in the curriculum I hate to think that it would be my fault that it not be fully realized. I am both encouraged and humbled by the faith that those sending me have placed in my ability. I only hope that that faith isn't misplaced.<br /><br />Excitement, anticipation, trepidation, intimidation... all these and more are sure to be my constant companions as I wrap up my life here in Harrisonburg and prepare for my life in Vietnam. I am more certain than ever that this is the right move and continue to see God revealing Godself to me through this process.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-14820657097847146142009-05-29T20:06:00.003+07:002009-05-29T21:24:00.317+07:00This just in...Just got off the phone with Dan Wessner who informed me that there's been a flurry of email traffic between him and An Giang University and that things are 'moving forward'. While that in itself is nothing new (things have been moving forward since February) it the first real news I've had in several weeks. If things get finalized soon, it looks like Dan and I will travel to Vietnam sometime in the first two weeks of August. We will spend a day in Ho Chi Minh City and then two or three days in Long Xuyen and Can Tho meeting with the appropriate people there. So, while nothing is concrete yet, I take it as a hopeful sign that we are starting to make plans.<br /><br />The timing of this phone call could not have been better! The waiting and uncertainty have been driving me pretty crazy as of late. For someone who's always been slow to make decisions, I'm incredibly impatient once the decision's been made and the transition period begins. Right now I'm just ready to be there. I'm overwhelmed with the thought of all that will need to be done once I get final approval, but I am even more excited about doing something new. I find it hard to believe that in 2 months, I may find myself half-way around the world. New context, new language, an 11 hour time difference from home, rice paddies and palm trees as my view instead the Shenandoah mountains or the hayfields of home. As intimidating as it is, my excitement increases as time passes. I know it's going to work out. I've been living with the anxiety of not knowing how or when it will happen for the past six months or so, but I don't think I've ever actually doubted that it is going to eventually work out.<br /><br />Logistically, things seem to be falling into place on the homefront as well. A meeting with my SST on May 14, allowed me to introduce what I'd be doing and the Vietnamese partners to a core group of people from Johnstown and Harrisonburg. We talked about funding and covered the whole endeavor with a prayer for wisdom, guidance and a sense of peace as this process progresses. Now that things are looking more certain, I'm thinking it might be time to make this public. I've been hesitant to do any fund appeals due to the uncertainty of whether I would be offered a position or not. I only need to raise around $5000 since I already have the bulk of my necessary support comitted already. So, it looks like my project for the weekend will be to come up with a fund appeal letter and list of those to whom I'll send it.rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7960801579992237097.post-14498810936506093232009-05-13T02:36:00.001+07:002009-05-13T08:39:29.416+07:00Caught in a Holding Pattern<span style="color:#ccccff;">I'm beginning to chafe under the weight of not knowing. My resolve and sense of calling has not diminished, but I find it harder to remain as optimistic as I have been in the past about this dream of returning to Vietnam becoming a reality. The uncertainty presents me with an interesting conundrum and an opportunity to step out in faith unlike any other I've ever experienced. </span><br /><span style="color:#ccccff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ccccff;">I have been walking this return to Vietnam journey for several months now and have managed to come through some of the initial challenges stronger and more certain that this is where God is leading me for the next stage of my life. What I assumed would be a simple two year MCC assignment has morphed into an incredible opportunity to shape my own experience into something much deeper. It has forced me to explicate my reasons for wanting to return and to work at sharing that vision with others. It has humbled me as I have and will continue to ask others to join with me in this endeavor. It is bringing me into a community of support and accountability that will help me adjust to a new environment; it's providing a necessary root system as I branch out. For all of this, I am grateful. </span><br /><span style="color:#ccccff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ccccff;">And yet, I struggle because even as I plan and prepare there is uncertainty. Much of what I speak of is still waiting for approval in Vietnam. Both An Giang and Can Tho Univeristies seem hopeful, but have yet to officially offer me positions. The timing seems so right and it appears that Providence is moving, but the questions remain. This uncertainty makes it hard to move forward. How do I ask people for money if I'm not sure I'm going to get offered a position or receive a visa? How do I prepare for the future if all of this effort is for naught? These questions temper the excitement I feel when I think about this dream becoming a reality but I refuse to let them paralyze me into inaction. Instead, I'm moving forward with faith that this is where God is leading me. My first support team meeting is Thursday and I'm excited for the opportunity to get others as excited about this opportunity as I am. </span>rachsporyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05635293113925319113noreply@blogger.com0